


A Place to Call Home

by Kissesdragons



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6145297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissesdragons/pseuds/Kissesdragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zero tells Jude the truth about his past.  Based off the clip from next week's episode (307).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Place to Call Home

**Author's Note:**

> The first bit of dialogue is taken directly from the clip for next week's episode.  
> Please see the notes at the end for possible trigger warnings.

Jude parks the car in front of the old, broken down brick home. “You ready to face your past?” he asks, turning to look at Zero

Zero glances out the window, taking a deep breath as he fights off the memories threatening to overwhelm him. “I don't think this is a good time,” he answers after a moment.

“They're tearing it down. Its empty - its the best time,” Jude replies. He must see the uncertainty in Zero's face because he reaches out to squeeze Zero's thigh reassuringly. “You're strong, you can handle this.”

Zero huffs and looks away from him.

“You don't think I'm strong enough to handle this,” Jude says when Zero remains silent for several seconds. His voice is full of hurt, and Zero turns to face him.

“I didn't say that,” Zero denies.

“Unbelievable,” Jude mutters angrily.

“Jude,” Zero says, trying to placate him as he climbs out of the car. “Jude!” he yells again, but Jude ignores him and storms up the walkway to the house.

Zero sighs, and sits in the car, staring at the house for several moments before steeling himself to go inside.

“I don't think you're not strong enough,” Zero says, walking into the house, doing his best to avoid looking around. “I just – I don't want this to change the way you see me.”

“That's not going to happen,” Jude insists, taking a step towards him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder.

“You say that now, but...” Zero trails off, shaking his head. The truth is that no one has ever cared about him in his entire life. Jude's it – he's the only person who's ever given a fuck if Zero was happy or not. Hell, he's probably the only one to ever give a fuck that Zero was even alive. Jude looks at Zero like he's something special. The thought of loosing that, of seeing pity in Jude's eyes instead makes him sick.

“Hey, I promise-” Jude starts, reaching out to cup his cheek, but Zero cuts him off, shaking his head and blowing out a breath.

“Just – let me get it out, ok?” he asks, and Jude nods silently. “Ok,” Zero says, finally glancing around. “Ok.” He walks through the tiny, cramped house, barely noticing the broken windows, graffiti, and trash through the memories that are swamping him.

He pushes open a door and waves Jude through, into a tiny cramped room. “My first memories are of this room,” he says. “I was maybe four or five. There were 10 of us in here sharing six bunk beds. My foster parents were in it for the government paycheck – the more of us they could cram in here the more they had to spend on crack and booze.”

He glances up and sees Jude watching him intently, face filled with compassion. Zero studies him for a moment, and is surprised to note no signs of pity. He takes a deep breath then continues, “We learned real early how to make our own way. No one was going to give us anything, so we found ways to get it for ourselves. I was five the first time I stole something.” He looks at Jude again, expecting a reaction but getting nothing. “My foster dad had passed out, so I snuck into his room and took his wallet – took enough money to get dinner for all us kids.”

Jude stays quiet, but steps closer to him, clearly sensing his rising agitation. Zero runs a hand through his hair and starts to pace. “There were 6 boys. We traded off who had to get the money. Whenever we got caught we would get the shit beat out of us. After a while he started using a belt – didn't take long to figure out there were better options.” 

He notices Jude's eyes flicking over his body and he nods. “Yeah,” he says pulling up his shirt to reveal the 4 thin silvery scars that run across his back. “After that we started stealin wallets, breakin into cars and houses. We got by for years.” Zero swallows hard and pauses a moment to search Jude's eyes.

Jude looks back at him, calm and filled with compassion, but there is no sign of fear or disgust, so Zero takes a deep breath, and reveals his deepest, darkest secret, the one he'd sworn never to tell anyone.

“When I was eleven I came home late one night and my foster dad was high on something. He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the back room,” Zero pauses for a moment, heart racing as he tries to fight off the memories. “He said,” Zero swallows, hard. “He said it was about damn time I started paying my own way, then he pushed me down on a mattress and he, he-” Zero breaks off, gasping for air and Jude steps forward.

“Hey, hey look at me,” Jude says, but for some reason his voice sounds like he's underwater. “Breathe for me,” Jude says, cupping Zero's cheek and forcing his eyes up to meet his. “Breath for me, Sweetheart,” he says grabbing Zero's other hand and placing it on his own chest. “In and out, slowly, you can do this.”

Zero focuses on Jude's voice, on the steady rise and fall of the chest under his hand, the warmth in Jude's eyes, and after what feels like an eternity it stops feeling like his chest is in a vice. When his breathing has finally slowed to near normal he realizes that Jude is still talking to him, and he focuses on what he's saying. “Never going to let anyone touch you again, love you so much, it's ok, I've got you.”

Zero takes in one last deep, shuddering breath, and Jude smiles at him. “Hey,” he murmurs. “You back with me?”

Jude's thumb is stroking his cheek, and it takes Zero a moment to realize he's been crying. He takes a step back, clears his throat and reaches up to scrub at wet cheeks. “Yeah,” he says gruffly, looking around the room to avoid Jude's eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don't you ever apologize,” Jude says fiercely, and when Zero finally looks up to meet his eyes again he doesn't see the pity and disgust he's been so afraid of. Instead he sees a protectiveness he's never seen directed at himself before and it warms a part of him he didn't even realize was cold.

Zero clears his throat, then nods. “After...after, I decided that I needed to take control of my own life. I left this place, lived on the streets. I figured out that it was a hell of a lot easier to get on my knees for someone for 10 minutes than it was to spend weeks planning a robbery. Paid a hell of a lot better too. When I was fourteen I hit my growth spurt and realized I was damn good at basketball. I did what I had to do to get by, focused on the game, got a scholarship for college, and you know the rest.”

He's looking around, doing his best to avoid meeting Jude's eyes, but Jude refuses to allow it. Jude steps toward him, and pulls him into his arms. Zero stands stiffly and allows Jude to hug him for a moment, before he finally relaxes into his embrace. 

“Thank you for telling me,” Jude says after a moment. He pulls back and tilts Zero's head up, leaning in for a sweet, undemanding kiss. “You are the strongest person I know,” he says, and Zero scoffs. “I'm serious,” Jude says insistently, staring at him until Zero finally meets his eyes. “You are strong, and brave, and I can't believe how much you've accomplished without anyone to support you. I love you, and I swear to you I'm always going to be here for you, whatever you need.”

Zero searches Jude's face, notes the sincerity there, and for the first time in his life he feels like maybe there is someone he can actually rely on. He nods, then says “I love you too.”

Jude pulls him close for another soft, sweet kiss. “You ready to head home?” he asks when they finally pull apart, and Zero nods, not caring which of their houses they go to. With Jude at his side it doesn't matter where they are – he's finally found a place to call home.

**Author's Note:**

> Non-graphic description of non-con when one of the characters was a child.  
> Description of a mild panic attack.


End file.
